Are We There Yet?

This is one crazy journey.

Loss: Attempting to Put Words to the Feelings July 17, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — taramayrn @ 5:09 pm

A post on Jenna’s blog has got me thinking about the loss in my life brought on by the adoption of my son.   A quote from a book she is reading has prompted her to write about the overwhelming feelings of loss she has experienced as a firstmother.  She has encouraged others to blog/write about their feelings of loss.

 I have pondered this topic many times but I find it very hard to put words to the feelings of loss.  The feelings, at times, are so overwhelming and have taken over all aspects of my life.  A scent or sound could spark a memory and send me spirialing into another wave of grief.  Sometimes there are no words.

 

July 6, 2007

Filed under: Adoption — taramayrn @ 9:56 am

A few weeks back we were invited to T and E’s Irish dancing recital.  I was thrilled to accept the invitation as we had not seen either of them dance yet.  This was T’s first year dancing and E’s second year. 

Irish dancing is amazing.  The music is so soul inspiring and the dancers are beautiful in their brightly colored costumes.  Now, it isn’t uncommon for me to become emotional during a musical performance or something similar.  I don’t know why, but sometimes the music or the dancing hits me straight in the heart and I cry.

 However, I didn’t cry this time until my boy came out on stage in his black shirt and pants and his colorful tie.  He was surrounded by about 20 little girls.  There are only 2 boys in the whole dance school.  The music started, the dancers danced and I cried.

 I don’t know what came over me.  This time it wasn’t the music and it wasn’t the dancing.  It was seeing my boy up there proud of himself and the dance moves he had worked so hard to learn this year.