Are We There Yet?

This is one crazy journey.

Kind of sad February 15, 2007

Filed under: Adoption — taramayrn @ 4:24 pm

So Tuesday was our birthson T’s 7th birthday.  Since I hadn’t gotten his birthday present ready and in the mail yet I sent him an ecard so that he knew we were thinking of him.  I couldn’t call him as I was at work all day (and he was at school all day) and had the evening all booked up.  So I sent the ecard, which will send an email notification to the sender when the person you’ve sent it to reads the card.  No one’s picked up the card yet. 😦 

So, yes, I need to get off my lazy, procrastinating, worrying butt and call, but really it’s just not that simple for me.  I have this immense anxiety when I think of calling them.  I really don’t think I have any reason to worry.  We have a wonderful relationship and they  have made us feel so welcome in their lives.  I guess though, it’s just the awkwardness (since I’ve probably made about 10 phone calls to them over 7 years) that I fear. 

Any other birthmoms have anxiety when it comes to calling their child’s family?  I feel like I’m the Lone Ranger on this one though.  I look around and see other birthmoms who can talk so freely with their child’s parents and I want that.  I think I’ve just got to bite the bullet and start calling.  Actually that’s one of the things I want to change this year.  I am bad at calling lots of people in my life.  Frankly, I suck….

So any tips on how to make this not so scary would be great.


6 Responses to “Kind of sad”

  1. Breanna Says:

    Happy Birthday! Wow, 7! Jenna will be 7 this year too, it’s odd. Anyway, wanted to let you know I feel the same way when it comes to calling Jenna’s parents. But then again, I have anxiety with any kind of phone calls these days. But for me, it’s always been that way. Hug!

  2. barb Says:

    happy birthday to the Kiddo. i always have major anxiety when calling the aparents. and i’ve only done it a handful of times over the past 9 years. i never want to upset the proverbial applecart.

  3. paragraphein Says:

    Hey Tara,

    Yeah, calling is hard. Am just starting to get comfortable with it. The only thing that made it easier for me was to do it more.

    ((Hugs)) to you, and happy birthday to the little one.


  4. taramayrn Says:

    Thanks Girls. I appreciate your support. I know I just need to start calling more and then I wouldn’t be so afraid to do it. Fear is so crippling sometimes isn’t it? I know my fear is unfounded. Ah, why isn’t there a manual for being a birthmom?

    Oh, I just found out T and his family were away and so that’s probably why no one has picked up the ecard. But I will be seeing him tomorrow when I drop off his birthday gift. 🙂

  5. Erika Says:

    I was not fortunate enough to be able to call or have contact. the adopters initially promised this but once they got my daughter they changed their minds. my daughter is 7 years old now too. and i still send packages to her for every holiday and birthday. i understand the sadness. I understand the unsettling feelings and anixety.
    it hits me almost every holiday. truth be told, if the adoption had’ve stayed open, i probably wouldnt have liked that. i’d rather do my penance and serve the time, then to hear her voice and know every single time i had contact that she was calling someone else mom.

    i wish you strength and comfort. i cant imagine how you deal with the birthdays, phone calls and adoption. one day at a time i guess.


  6. Poor_Statue Says:

    I still have trouble calling. I usually force myself to do it for birthdays and holidays, but it’s really hard. I always feel like I’m bothering them even though they do nothing to make me feel that way.

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